A Quick Study

I’ve learned two things already in my new position.

1. Only a sucker shows up for a meeting on time.

   Maybe it’s that all the clocks in the building seem to be set for different times but inevitably,if I show up for a meeting at the time it’s supposed to start,I’m alone in the conference room.

2. Ridiculous is the new smart.

   Here’s a department objective from one of our corporate intranet sites:

   Organize our initiatives to better secure our systems,our data,and our processes to create more commonality and reduce unnecessary complexity in our infrastructure and our business applications and processes,leading to enhanced risk management.

   Holy run-on sentence Batman! Never mind our infrastructure,why don’t we start by reducing unnecessary complexity in our sentences? It sounds to me like somebody is trying to say that simplicity and modularity (or re-usability if that’s a word) lead to better security and less risk. How can we encourage that if we can’t even communicate it effectively?

   At some point people became more concerned with sounding intelligent than actually being understood. I suspect that anybody who heard that objective and didn’t quite understand it (lots of people in that room I’m sure) kept their mouths shut for fear of being thought stupid. Little did they know that the people to the left and right of them were most likely facing the same fear.

   To help you in the battlefields or corporate boardrooms,I present to you The Corporate Bullshit Generator courtesy of Office Diversions: The Productivity Reduction Discovery Center.

   Good luck out there.

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